Your Guide to Threesomes

Ahhh the good old ménage à trois. Are you thinking about doing it? Maybe you and/or your partner have shared this fantasy and you’re starting to explore some options. Well, you’re not alone! According to a recent survey from PLOS ONE showed that one out of seven of you have engaged in a threesome and one out of five of you have thought about it! Here are some tips to inviting a third party into bed.

Okay let’s start with the top thing with any couple, whether it’s a fantasy, a problem, or just general relationship stuff:

• Communication is Key

Communication is going to be key from start to finish of this journey. First, you need to talk about this fantasy with your partner and ask openly and honestly if your partner would be up for it. Give them some time to think about it! Also be sure to let them know why you’ve been thinking about this. Some may think that you are seeking an escape from your relationship (if you are, take some time to think about this and talk to your partner). Is this a one time thing? Are you just exploring for fun or to spice things up? If you’re monogamous, are you willing to opening up your bedroom to a third party?

Communication will also be very important in setting up boundaries. This will be what you and your partner will be up for when the time comes. What type of threesome are you both willing to have? What are each of you willing to do in this sex-capade? Set up some actual sexual boundaries prior to this adventure, and then discuss again to make sure they’re clear and everyone is on the same page.

• Find Your Third

Okay now that we’ve established that we’re going to venture into Three-land, how do we find a third? Maybe you’re a lucky one who knows someone who may be interested and you’re open enough to ask. This will be another communication situation - do you want someone you know any trust or do you want strangers only? One great way to find someone is to hop on a dating app. You can use the classics like Tinder, but Feeld and Fetlife are some good options as well.

• Establish Rules

Once you find your third, make sure they’re aware of your boundaries and rules. Also, what is the plan to help protect against STDs and pregnancy concerns? Is everyone up to play with some sex toys? Should everyone get tested before (yes)? If you are playing with some kinks, be sure to have a safe word set up.

• Have Fun!

Yes, once you’re in it, let loose and have fun! Always remember that your body is your body. If anything feels unsafe, bad, or even slightly off you have every right to end it (that goes for any time, not just threesomes).

• Communication, Again.

We love our communication skills! They are number one in a successful relationship. We want you to chat with your partner (and third party) afterwards to see if this was something you liked and if you want to do it again.